There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
