Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
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