she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize