the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
