thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize