im about as happy as oj after his trial
Princesses don't give blow jobs
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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