when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My penis needs a shock collar
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
