Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
