He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
