she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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