I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
