Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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