so explain again why im purple
no
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
