Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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