just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
