Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Sober January is a disaster.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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