I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm too high and old for this...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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