Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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