a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
