She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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