You just made me feel so damn special
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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