I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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