I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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