After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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