I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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