Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
