OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
