her vagine was all disorganized.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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