I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
