I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
