the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize