worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
