idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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