I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
