oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
