It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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