It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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