brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
