still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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