Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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