I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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