He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
