Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for

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(386): View more from Florida

you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.

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(404): View more from Georgia

And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"

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(561): View more from Florida

I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.

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(518): View more from New York

Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato

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(801): View more from Utah

I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...

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