Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize