do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
