the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Of course I have a pirate flag
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
