I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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