careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
