Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
