he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We are two peas in an std pod
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
