Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
