Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
