Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
