i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
