you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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