Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
