so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
did i walk over a car last night?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
