Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
