hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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