Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
